Some background: About 6 months ago, “Cynthia” came in for help with infertility. The first time I saw her, the image that struck me was that of champagne that had lost some of its effervescence. I was struck by the quality of her energy field. Cynthia had beautiful blond hair, but that wasn’t why I felt like her energy was like a golden net. There was just a refined quality to her field.
Yet, it also felt so…quiet. Subdued. Although she spoke quite easily with me, and it wasn’t that she wasn’t conversational, I couldn’t help feeling that much of her energy, her essence, was hidden underneath the surface. Much like an iceberg. Hidden away. There was sadness, which I might expect from anyone dealing with infertility. But it also felt like she was a bit removed from being in the flow of life in general.
Cynthia sat down and shared with me her journey on trying to become pregnant. She had tried so many things, including undergoing multiple rounds of IVF, along with alternative treatments like acupuncture, but to no avail. She was in good shape, ate well, and took care of herself. Physically, everything seemed fine. Yet, medical tests could not determine why she had not been able to conceive. There seemed no logical explanation.
Because of this, Cynthia was very sad and frustrated. Trying to become pregnant had all but consumed her life for the past 3 years, and it was beyond upsetting that it hadn’t happened. The issue had also strained some of her friendships, and she felt very alone inside. It was hard for Cynthia to be around pregnant women, and she had begun retreating from being around people in general. She knew that stress was not good for her, and she had consciously tried to reduce stressful things in her life. But it was still very disappointing that she hadn’t been able to have a successful pregnancy.
I could appreciate her sadness. Privately, I’ve always felt that it is a cruel irony that sometimes the stress from wanting something desperately sometimes makes it that much harder for us to get the thing we want. I think we can want something too much. Or rather, more accurately, we can want something in such a way that it literally cramps our energy towards that thing. As a result, it makes it even harder for that thing we want to come in to our lives. It’s like we create a force field around us, trying to force things to happen a certain way, and it actually makes things harder. It’s so human.
The accompanying anxiety can be so energetically draining. Ditto the horrible dread of, “What if it never happens?”
From a pure medical standpoint, anxiety and stress make everything harder for the body, and trying to get pregnant is no exception. It’s as if the body makes a decision on whether or not it can afford the resources for pregnancy. If it senses high anxiety and stress, it decides, “Nope. Not going there.” From a biological point of view, it makes sense why the body reacts this way. When the body is under the “fight or flight” response of anxiety, it’s focused on scanning the environment for imminent danger. The last thing it wants to do is create a baby.
I started looking into Cynthia’s energy field to see what we could do for her, to create an opening for some change.
I asked her where she was inside with not being able to conceive yet.
“I feel like I’ve failed as a woman,” she said, and she began to cry.
I knew I needed to help her move some of the sadness, since it was so heavy. So we did some EFT work to release the sadness. That opened up into a conversation about her stress over the enormous expense of all of the treatments, and the anger of how she felt it had all been spent for nothing. We tapped on that to clear it away, and Cynthia began to calm down. There were issues with her husband, and we worked on that as well. Then we tapped on the stress the IVF treatments had put her under. She expressed her frustration that the doctors involved were so unavailable, that everything about the process made her feel like she was an item on an assembly line.
I also noticed that I did not feel the mothering energy around her as much as I would have liked, for her goal of wanting to be a mother. So began to amp it into her field silently. I don’t think I mentioned anything to her because this is a process that has no words. It’s just a specific vibration and energy. I began to transmit it while we were speaking. It’s not like anyone could really tell by watching us. It looks like, well, just regular talking. But inside, I was conscious of the energetic dance going on between Cynthia and me. Something silent in the exchange helped Cynthia know that she was being fully heard and supported, and more importantly, she was that much more able to then hold that energy for herself. Critical yin energy…
Once we finished with some meridian tapping, I put Cynthia on the table, where she always fell asleep in her sessions. This allowed me to do some more silent, body-oriented work.
She always left the sessions calmer and more ok with what was happening with her on her journey. Over the course of our work together, she no longer clenched inside at the thought of not becoming pregnant. It was more of a openness to life of what might or might not happen.
On one visit, Cynthia came in, visibly upset. She told me that she had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Obviously, this was a shocking development. Fortunately, it was caught at a very early stage. It wasn’t a really “bad” case. But of course, cancer is still scary in any form.
Because Cynthia wanted to become pregnant, instead of the standard approach that involved chemotherapy, her physicians had proposed an alternative course of treatment that, if successful, would still enable her to become pregnant. Being able to get pregnant was Cynthia’s primary concern. So she elected to go with this option.
Meanwhile, I decided I would go in and specifically look for cancer cells. Frankly, I did not know if it would work or if it I could do enough to tip things to change, but I was willing to try. It wouldn’t hurt anything, and the payoff might be generous.
So I went into what I call my “zone” and looked inside Cynthia. I looked for things that caught my attention. If I found them, (which I did, but did not find many items ), I zapped them. It sounds insane. But all I can say is that I looked for things that didn’t look right (they looked like black bugs to me), and then used energy on them until they didn’t stick out at me anymore.
I used a bunch of methods to do this, including that which I learned from Rosalyn Bruyere and what had been described to me by Kurt Peterson of cancertouch.com. I was going to do whatever I had in my toolkit to affect a change.
So I did this focused approach on the next two visits. It was much harder than other ways of working with energy. Cynthia could sometimes feel heat inside of her abdomen as I worked. It was a peculiar sensation for her. I was tired after these sessions, but ok with it.
On a following visit, Cynthia told me that her doctors determined that the cancer was no longer present. Yay! I was thrilled. I also knew it was impossible to know the specifics of how or what had stopped the cancer, whether it was the alternative treatment her doctors put her on, my work, or a combination there-of. At this time, there’s no way to know definitively. Like many things in healing, there are so many variables all going on, all unique to each individual. Yet, just because there are a lot of variables and we do not know for sure what’s happening doesn’t mean we just don’t do anything at all. We go with what we know to do. I was just glad the cancer was gone, no matter what the reason.
She also said that she and her husband had decided to try IVF one more time. It was to be their last ditch effort to conceive a child naturally. And she had carefully set her appointment with me to be the day before the embryo implantation.
And so, instead of focusing on cancer, I concentrated on amping and balancing Cynthia’s entire system to be as strong as I could.
It was on that particular appointment that I remember seeing these beautiful light rays going in to Cynthia’s abdomen. It was the oddest thing. I’ll see if I can draw it out with crayons and create a sketch of what I saw to attach to this article. It literally looked like a peacock fan of orange and yellow lights, going from outside into her abdomen.
I had absolutely no idea what it meant. I thought maybe I was going crazy. It was very interesting. To me, it felt promising, but of course, I did not want to say anything that would get her hopes up unnecessarily. Who wants to be wrong with something like that??
Cynthia left, and then I didn’t hear from her for a few months. Then, one day, I received a joyous email from her. The IVF treatment had worked! She was safely 3 months pregnant.
I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and all is well! I wanted to thank you so much for all you have done. It is still hard to believe that after everything, I might actually become a mom!
Naturally, I was delighted for her. No cancer! Baby on the way! Yay!!
Cynthia came in for a session while she was pregnant, just to get some energy healing to help with the pregnancy. Energy work is great for expecting mothers, who often feel uncomfortable in their backs and necks. I also offered up some energy available to the baby in the womb, placing it in such a way that she could decide to pick some up, if she wanted. It was a lot of fun, feeling that little soul in there, responding to me!
Fast forward to this week, when I got the following nice letter from Cynthia:
I wanted to thank you for your care for my cancer, infertility and general well being. Without it, I don’t think little Aggie would be here to enrich our lives.
Thank you for sharing your gift with the world!
The XXXs (I’ve been waiting years to write that!)
Accompanying her note was a beautiful photo of Cynthia’s baby girl, born 16th March, 2012 at 8lbs 13 oz – 4.010 kg 21 ½ inches – 54.6 cm.
So that was the beautiful soul I felt moving under my hands in my office! Well, golly gee! 🙂
You can be sure I was high as a kite, after getting this update! Woohoo!! Life is truly a miracle.
But wait, there’s more! On a completely unrelated note, I just wanted to share another note that came in, via email. This must be my week for great mail!
A Ping From The Other Side of the Blogosphere
I am just starting my practice as an energy worker in Richmond Va and ran across your blog at random. I wanted to tell you how much I love reading it. You are beautifully putting words to concepts that don’t have words.
I just wanted to tell you how helpful your writing is in helping me formulate my own practice and philosophies about this work. I’m especially aware of how conservative Richmond is and at the same time, how much there is a need and want for this work. I got trained about 4 years ago and have had my ups and downs with clients and my own fears about wholeheartedly living this. I recognize after reading your articles that I have let the conservative side of this southern town intimidate me somewhat. I’ve been looking for how to present myself to others with integrity and grounding rather than have the work be so tangential.
Anyway, your blog is helping me sort through some of my own hangups about this. Thanks again.
Wish you the best, Allyson Rainer
Woohoo! So glad this blog is helping people! I simply write what is on my heart and hope it resonates out there. So thank you, Allyson, for letting me know you enjoy what I have been writing. Best of luck to you in your practice!
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