Don’t confuse the two and you’ll feel a lot safer and in control of your energy. I hope this video helps illustrate the difference.
Do you often feel frustrated that people don’t respect your boundaries?
A lot of my clients struggle with boundaries. If you’re sensitive and empathic, this is probably something you’ve had to sit with. I certainly have.
It’s not like you don’t know what a boundary is, right? In theory, it seems fairly straight forward.
And maybe, try as you might, it seems like people don’t respect your boundaries. It can feel really disappointing and frustrating.
And then you might beat yourself up for it. Or feel resentful and resigned. “What do I do? I set my boundaries but people just ignore them!”
In my work with thousands of people on planet earth, I’ve noticed a key distinction that keeps people from being able to create good boundaries with others. In a nutshell, the big miss for many people seems to be that they confuse a boundary with asking for what they want. They’re actually different things.
A boundary is totally within your control. A request of what you want from the other person may or may not happen — it’s more out of your control.
Hope this helps!