How to Say “NO” (or at least not say “Yes” when you don’t want to)

The first step in saying “No” to people is to not accidentally end up saying “Yes.”

That might sound obvious, but it’s actually a big deal for people who have a habit of saying “Yes” to everything, before they’ve really had a chance to feel things out. Whether it’s out of a desire to please other people or a sense of guilt, the result is the same — feeling frustrated and drained, with a touch of “Why does this keep happening to me?” resentment thrown in.

Other people are always going to continue asking what they do. We can count on that, right? So we might as well accept that we live in a world where there are constantly more demands coming at us than any of us can handle.

But no matter how needy everyone else is, we don’t have to live lives of frustration and depletion. It certainly can end up that way, if we’re not aware of ourselves. But it’s not necessary.

That’s why I believe it’s so important that everyone has tools to manage their energy to deal with the daily what I call “Can-you-would-you’s”. Sensitive people are especially prone to doing things they don’t want to do because they tend to disconnect from their own energy field. Other peoples’ energies can be so overwhelming for them that it takes them longer to get an accurate read on how they really feel about something.

Here is a basic survival technique that helped me as a sensitive person. Frankly, I think every sensitive person should have this in their back pocket. I use this every day to manage the overwhelm. Hope it helps.