And you know what? I was driving myself absolutely crazy.
It didn’t feel good. Can you relate? I found myself feeling anxious, scattered, disconnected, and totally unable to focus on any one thing longer than 8 seconds.
Probably even less than 8 seconds, actually. I’m told that’s the length of attention span of a goldfish. (Of course, I would like to know how they measured that interesting factoid, but that’s beside the point…)
In a moment of insight, I suddenly remembered how I have always loved writing. I’m happiest writing. I haven’t written for a while, partly because I wasn’t sure anyone would be interested in what I was really thinking and partly because I had a bunch of people in my ear trying to tell me no one had time to read blogs anymore. And I actually believed it… So what the heck, I’m writing to you all now. Long form. In my natural voice.
It has been such a crazy time for all of us, as you well know! We’re in the midst of a convergence of 3 things:
- an election (which is NOT NORMAL this time)
- a pandemic
- massive social change (Black Lives Matter and other issues)
We’re in the Matrix — do you want the blue pill or the red pill?
For me, it’s been hard to take in what has been going on (see my previous video on this). I’ve bounced between feeling incredulous, dismayed, disappointed and then returning to a sense of I-still-dare-to-be-fully-present-and-hopeful.
My clients have all reported some of the same feelings. In this time of a pandemic, an election and massive social change, I’m reminded of the importance of community. We weren’t meant to live so socially distanced from each other. We weren’t designed to be trying to figure everything out all by ourselves, no matter how useful Zoom might be…
It’s just not the same as being with people in real life.
The saving grace in this, I think, is a feeling that we are now opening to a totally new way of doing things. The old ways just don’t work anymore. And many grieve this change while also wondering what might be coming. What might a different way feel like?
For many, it’s stressful as well as a bit nerve wracking. But perhaps there’s also an inner knowing that we can’t go backwards anymore.
(I met this fellow on my driveway and he said told me he wanted to support you in all of this in his own buggy-cute sort of way…)
A return back to being more normally human (hopefully…)
I believe we are headed towards a way of being and living that is more grounded in what matters most to people. Meaningful relationships. A healthier lifestyle and livelihood. More time being and less time frantically doing to try to impress people who don’t really matter anyway in the long run.
Maybe endless commutes in the car aren’t the way to go anymore, even if the pay is generous. Maybe everyone simply craves more quality time for themselves and for those who they love.
Even the practice of business is transforming. I call it a practice because, in reality, that is how we need to start thinking about business. It’s not this separate “thing” over there that is devoid of any thought, meaning or purpose. It’s not a machine that just spits out money, given inputs of energy and people.
That’s shocking to people who are used to thinking of business like an impersonal machine, or something separate from them. But I see, more and more, how attitudes towards marketing, money, commerce and how customers are treated is changing.
They’re changing because they have to change. People are changing. And what is business, but a set of rules made up by and for people.
I hate change but I don’t want things to stay the same either…
I, for one, am encouraged to see these changes coming in. I think there’s still a lot of skepticism out there, as in whether sustainability in a new way is possible. Does it mean everyone has to be borderline broke all the time? I don’t think so. I think some new models of business are around the corner. Just because we don’t know them yet doesn’t mean they don’t exist. But up to now, we just assumed not much else was available. We just assumed that it wasn’t possible because people told us so. And we believed it.
But it was made up to begin with. Or, at best, only part of the potential domain of possibilities.
Change is in the air and it won’t be easy. But it is needed. Healthcare is probably one of the slowest industries, still behind the curve, in terms of how patient care is being managed. We spend much more of our GNP on healthcare than other countries, only to produce unsatisfactory results. As a whole, here in the US with a population of 330 million, people are not healthy, says my colleagues in medicine. They have told me that it is no longer possible to think of the situation as a “healthcare problem”. The fight over healthcare reform is really mostly about over health insurance reform. Big difference.
The reality is that most of the diseases people face in our modern culture are more related to lifestyle than anything else. Poor diet, lack of exercise, and high stress levels are making people sicker than doctors can treat with medicine alone. Heart disease, obesity, diabetes, etc. As my physician colleague told me, shaking her head, the real problems we face come from what she called the “social determinants of health.”
Depression. Anxiety, Stress. General emotional malaise. Addiction. Domestic violence. Systematic oppression and poor access to decent education and housing.
These are not things physicians can fix when people land in the ER. Yet, many people continue to feel that their wellness lives outside of them. They are often angry when a physician or a medication does not resolve their health issues. Gradually, though, I do see this changing. People are starting to recognize the interconnectivity of everything. That they have an ownership in their own health choices and their personal responsibility.
After all, everywhere you go, there you are. The only common element of everything in your life is you. And that’s good because that’s the only thing you can control anyway. Leave the rest up to something bigger than you.
As I tell my clients, “It’s beyond your pay-grade.”
Then, and only then, will most of these chaotic things finally clear up. Because the chaos and the stress IS us. It’s not separate or only “those people”. It’s also not bad. It is a symptom. Not the problem that needs to be medicated away. Everything is connected.
No more hiding, more seeking
As I tell all my clients, the life you want is always leaving you clues on what to do next. The answer may merely be a bit hidden. We may not be able to control everything that happens. But always, every moment, we always have the power of choice.
I had one client who was truly miserable in her high-level executive job and fighting IBS. She kept claiming she wasn’t stressed. But she kept ending up in the ER with severe IBS flare-ups. Her physicians finally insisted she work with someone like me to clear up why her body kept putting her in the ER every 4 months. We worked together and she hasn’t been back in the ER for over 5 years now.
That’s a lot of hospitalization dollars and medications saved, a considerable amount of stress reduced, and a much better quality of life for her and her family. Not only that, but she’s much happier, and has since received a generous salary increase in her work as well as created a fabulous relationship with a man.
Everything starts with just one step. What is the tiniest step you could possibly take today towards what you want? Pick something and go do that. That’s enough.
And if and when you feel ready and inspired to take another step, then do that. But do it because you’re feeling the pull towards something. Not because you feel you “should” do it.
And if you aren’t able to take a step, give me a shout. Don’t fall into the cycle of blaming yourself for not being able to solve everything all by yourself.
(That in of itself is one of the biggest spiritual traps — the idea that you should be able to resolve everything by yourself. Everyone needs help sometimes. It’s like gravity. You wouldn’t try to deny that gravity exists, would you? :))
Nice to reconnect with you and be me again
So I’m here if you feel stuck in first gear and feel like you’re spinning your wheels. In the meantime, stay healthy and I’ll talk to you soon.
How about you? What do you think? I welcome your comments!
Before you go … Would you like a great way to feel better fast when life gets tough and you’re stressed?
Certified energy healer and mentor, helping sensitive, spiritual, perfectionist women create happiness and success in an imperfect world!
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